Andy Died Happy
It was a bright, clear, sunny day in May, and Andy was standing on his favorite street corner. People were going on about their business, trying to keep up with the tempo of the big city, scantily noticing one another.
But Andy loved watching them, loved watching all the life passing in front of his eyes.
Sonder. That was the word given to him by his mind. Definition: the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own. Everyone is the central character of their own story. Andy is central to his story but completely irrelevant to others'. This has been bugging him ever since he became conscious of the concept.
There was the old man who would sit there, at the bus stop, every day. He wasn't really waiting for a bus or any transport for that matter; he has simply chosen that place for reading his newspaper, seemingly basking in the constant hum of the daily commute. Before him, a very attractive young lady in a blue dress was walking nervously, checking her phone, a sign of worry gently showing on her face. Behind her, a teenage boy is only subconsciously aware of his surroundings, otherwise completely lost in the enjoyment of the music coming from his earphones.
On the other side, a businessman was walking with a fast pace, talking on his phone, obviously relieved by what he hears. Far up the street, out of earshot, there was a couple which was obviously having a fight. Even from this distance, Andy could see the sorrow that befell the short bearded man who just realized his relationship was over. Not far away from them, a little girl, no more than five years old, was having the complete opposite experience. She was joyfully, full of happiness as only a child can be, eating away at the cotton candy that her mother had bought for her.
Worry, enjoyment, relief, sorrow, joy, happiness. To give way to anxiety or unease, the state or process of taking pleasure in something, a feeling of reassurance and relaxation following release from anxiety or distress, a feeling of deep distress caused by loss, a feeling of great pleasure and happiness, the state of being happy. His mind knew the definitions, knew how to recognize them on people's faces, or from people's actions. He could even reproduce them, could act accordingly. But people have told him that he was unable to feel. They have told him that each time he thinks he is “feeling”, he is simply having a defined reaction to a defined stimuli.
He was fascinated by the wealth of emotions other people around him could communicate. It was simply amazing. He was longing to have the same experience one day. But that is the definition of envy. And longing is also a feeling, so he isn't really longing. Andy's confusion grew, so he chose to stop thinking and continue with his day.
But a sudden realization was jumping in front of the priority queue in the reasoning part of his brain. There was a car speeding, 109,6 km/h, coming from up the street. The mother of the little girl was too lost in a conversation with her friend to notice that her daughter, herself lost in the sweetness of the cotton candy, has stepped on the track. Collision was imminent.
So, Andy's quick reasoning led to him pushing off the little girl back on the sidewalk, in the process becoming the speeding car's target.
After the initial surge in his brain, he regained the power of reason once again. The car has hit him and then has swerved into a building. He couldn't see the driver inside, but could compute that he couldn't have survived not even the initial crash. He looked at the girl; she was crying, maybe had some bruising, but was otherwise healthy and fine. Her candy was on the street, but her mother was reassuring her that she will get her another one. Few people have gathered, some to offer help, others to simply watch. Some of them, like the businessman, the teenager with the earphones, and the worried lady were unaware, or simply ignored that anything had happened. This was the way humans operated; some see themselves as chivalrous, some see themselves as simple bystanders, some are too immersed in their own life to notice any other. That was what they had in common; they were all central characters of their own story, and they acted accordingly.
But Andy was more today. He became the central character in the little girl's story. He became the central character in her mother's story. Because of him, the little girl can feel again the joy of cotton candy.
As his electronic brain was signaling shutting down because the damage to his body was too extensive for the nanobots to fix, one final realization surged through his memory units.
He was happy.
But Andy loved watching them, loved watching all the life passing in front of his eyes.
Sonder. That was the word given to him by his mind. Definition: the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own. Everyone is the central character of their own story. Andy is central to his story but completely irrelevant to others'. This has been bugging him ever since he became conscious of the concept.
There was the old man who would sit there, at the bus stop, every day. He wasn't really waiting for a bus or any transport for that matter; he has simply chosen that place for reading his newspaper, seemingly basking in the constant hum of the daily commute. Before him, a very attractive young lady in a blue dress was walking nervously, checking her phone, a sign of worry gently showing on her face. Behind her, a teenage boy is only subconsciously aware of his surroundings, otherwise completely lost in the enjoyment of the music coming from his earphones.
On the other side, a businessman was walking with a fast pace, talking on his phone, obviously relieved by what he hears. Far up the street, out of earshot, there was a couple which was obviously having a fight. Even from this distance, Andy could see the sorrow that befell the short bearded man who just realized his relationship was over. Not far away from them, a little girl, no more than five years old, was having the complete opposite experience. She was joyfully, full of happiness as only a child can be, eating away at the cotton candy that her mother had bought for her.
Worry, enjoyment, relief, sorrow, joy, happiness. To give way to anxiety or unease, the state or process of taking pleasure in something, a feeling of reassurance and relaxation following release from anxiety or distress, a feeling of deep distress caused by loss, a feeling of great pleasure and happiness, the state of being happy. His mind knew the definitions, knew how to recognize them on people's faces, or from people's actions. He could even reproduce them, could act accordingly. But people have told him that he was unable to feel. They have told him that each time he thinks he is “feeling”, he is simply having a defined reaction to a defined stimuli.
He was fascinated by the wealth of emotions other people around him could communicate. It was simply amazing. He was longing to have the same experience one day. But that is the definition of envy. And longing is also a feeling, so he isn't really longing. Andy's confusion grew, so he chose to stop thinking and continue with his day.
But a sudden realization was jumping in front of the priority queue in the reasoning part of his brain. There was a car speeding, 109,6 km/h, coming from up the street. The mother of the little girl was too lost in a conversation with her friend to notice that her daughter, herself lost in the sweetness of the cotton candy, has stepped on the track. Collision was imminent.
So, Andy's quick reasoning led to him pushing off the little girl back on the sidewalk, in the process becoming the speeding car's target.
After the initial surge in his brain, he regained the power of reason once again. The car has hit him and then has swerved into a building. He couldn't see the driver inside, but could compute that he couldn't have survived not even the initial crash. He looked at the girl; she was crying, maybe had some bruising, but was otherwise healthy and fine. Her candy was on the street, but her mother was reassuring her that she will get her another one. Few people have gathered, some to offer help, others to simply watch. Some of them, like the businessman, the teenager with the earphones, and the worried lady were unaware, or simply ignored that anything had happened. This was the way humans operated; some see themselves as chivalrous, some see themselves as simple bystanders, some are too immersed in their own life to notice any other. That was what they had in common; they were all central characters of their own story, and they acted accordingly.
But Andy was more today. He became the central character in the little girl's story. He became the central character in her mother's story. Because of him, the little girl can feel again the joy of cotton candy.
As his electronic brain was signaling shutting down because the damage to his body was too extensive for the nanobots to fix, one final realization surged through his memory units.
He was happy.
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